i did not changed.... I did not get happier.... I also never giv up to fight for my life,,, fight for everyone else everyday......

it seems.. i still miss you very much..

i can remember every words u said.. the good and the bad ones...

i'm feeling really depressed
i'm feeling really lost...

it feels as if i can cry out at anytime.. but the tears didnt fall...



sumhow... i think it starts falling....
it was all my fault for everything...
but all i want is just someone who can stay by my side...

i miss u so badlyyyy.... Why everythin has to turn out this way? I miss u....

Time

didnt expect my feelings toward u still get very strong...

people said that "given enough time, everything can be cured"... it seems this is never applicable to me...

some part of me could be really hoping that u can stop me from carrying on all these nonsense..

i know u wont.. u wont even want to bear such responsibility

but i'm really thinking.. how long it will take until the day i truly given up on everything and go in peace....

U and The World

If i were given a decision to make a choice in between u and the world..

i would like to choose u over the world at anytime.. it is never a big deal to give up everything for u

but...

i think.. a kind-hearted u would not like me to give up the world.... or give up anyone else just for u...

so... i made a decision to sacrifice u and continue loving others... it is the best way to prove that.. everything i done is just for u....


sorry.. lately i have been doing very mean things to u... it probably feels like as if i was shouting over the sms.... u probably would think that i'm crazy or retarded...
i'm sorry... i am really lost...i dunno wad i can do and i dunno wad i should do...

u know... i think u r really fortunate.. leaving aside the fact that u might have ppl arnd u to share ur troubles with... there are also ppl like me who look up to u when they are unhappy... i really hope ppl can look up for me when they r unhappy.. at least dat shows that they trusted me... and i am always ready to help.. just that, i'm not sure.. why i am doing so badly to get ppl to believe in me

I'll treat u makan when i get my first pay? :)

hahaha...

when u just started working, i was really hoping that u can ask me out and treat me a meal with ur 1st pay... u didnt, and i did not blame u..

dis time i really wanted to treat u with my 1st pay..
i really wanted to fulfill my dis last promise to u..

but i'm sorry... i lost to the other pathetic self of mine....

i probably wont get a chance to see u again...

i gonna miss u lotssssssssss... hahaha.. really.. i already am...

u stay well


我觉得自己真的很爱很爱你~哈哈

Reminiscing the Past

I miss the olden days..
I miss the old you..

your look were so silly... but sweet
you were always around to listen to my rants and craps
you never failed to console whenever i was down..



now all of them are just parts of my memory....
.. and i really miss every part of them

i miss u
i want to see u very badly..
i hope u can stay by my side..
i love u from the bottom of my heart

but...
i know i cant be selfish
i want u to live in happiness
no matter it is going to be me or others, i will continue to hope for the same things..

i don't want to run away anymore...
for all the facts, i want to accept them openly...
for all the pains, i want to accept them completely...

I miss u very much........

i was telling myself to text u only once a week.. but ended up i didnt manage to obey my own words.. and u really got annoyed by me...

i'm sorry that i have been so selfish, couldnt resist myself to text u...

i'm pretty aware of what kind of condition we are in... i cannot ask u for anything.. or i should say, i do not dare nor deserve to ask u for anything...

i'll try my best to not disturb u...

i dunno what to say anymore....


i really love u.......

Many Things to Tell U

i'm feeling sorry...
i felt like i have hurt you so badly before

Will you believe that I am not an emo if I tell you so?

Now I'm thinking with all those things revolving around us.. we are having more and more misunderstandings...

If we are really not meant to be, I probably will let it go.. but with so many misunderstandings which have not been cleared.. i really don't know how

i really have so many so many things to tell you...
i really want to spend all my time protecting and keeping you happy...

Missing U

 
 
 
 
How can one misses someone else so much?





I miss u! I miss u! I miss u! I miss u!
I miss your smile, I miss your eyes, I miss your hair, I miss your face, I miss your presence, I miss your sms, I miss your care, I miss your everything!!!! and I really miss U~~

u know.. I have been thinking about u everyday. I think about u so much that I feel like I'm going crazy... haha

because I did not want to give u unwanted stress, so I do not dare to tell u, or even text u... otherwise I would have been sending sms to u in every sec of my life~ Haha... I smiled at myself and asked "Which earth of idiot would restrict himself to text once in every week to someone he misses so much?"

To what extent am I missing u? I would describe it like.. towards the extent where I can link every single thing to u!!
like activities we have done before.. and buildings we have been before.. they were bounded by our memories..
The more serious case will be... when I was watching drama, I would think that the female lead looked like U!!! not only in drama, some other TV shows, or even real life encounters... it feels like everyone around me is transforming into u...

haha.. I must be in serious lovesick.. so do u know how much I miss u? :)

A Day-to-Night Spent with My Dream

9th Jan 2011

Reason (my lame excuse): Please accompany me to buy my formal wear. This was a serious reason at first!

we met at 11am, in fact earlier!! hmm.. something interesting i want to share here!! While waiting for u on the train platform, i noticed a gal kind of like "eye-ing" on me while walking towards me. When u finally showed up, i noticed the gal showing the "sian 1/2" look on her face!!! hahaha... yar, i could be imagining things since i am not that hotttt... but u at least should feel grateful too cos i only care about U :) hahaha.. too corny ><

i made a mess out of my meal (lunch) again.. we should skip that.. but taking bus together was a great decision! hehehe....

then here comes your sweet part.. we went into pet shop in Central. u looked like u used to rear all the small animals before!! haha.. u shouted cute at almost everything in the shop >< i really love seeing u acting like this... so excited and so happy... i guess if there were dogs, u would have gone crazy~! much later when u saw this cute kid with funny curly hair, u pretty much got hyped up too.. u are still as loving :) .... every time when u got too excited or too happy.. i would feel a bit lost.. haha.. i guess i was attracted too much by your happy face~ so whenever u are happy and u notice i was quiet, i must be indulging in your happiness!

Then u accompanied me to shop.. and i felt really happy when u picked clothes for me!!! now i think of it.. the moment was so blissful!!! then we ate this potato nacho bun.. another blissful moment ^^

Later we traveled to City Hall then Marina.. i'm glad i made such a choice!! shopped around with u in female boutiques makes me feel closer to u... book shops are our must-go for almost every date. i hope u dun find me as a hassle ><

then we walked out from marina square towards esplanade.. when we are crossing the road, i wanted to hold ur hand to bring u cross... but i saw the cars have stopped at there.. and i stopped too...

Then we went to library in Esplanade. Sitting by your side and reading with u was my wish.. sadly the genre there really wasn't my type :( i really wanted to try some fictional novels which u always read. i love it when u share your book contents with me.. hahaha

I noticed the Sky Terrace Garden (or what was it called?).. and we went up there. Everywhere were couples. How i wish we were also holding hands at that time... I tried taking photos of the beautiful night scenery.. i couldn't help it but to feature u in some of my shots ><







Don't you think your back-view was being taken so nicely in this romantic night sky? hahaha... sorry that my camera was really bad ><.. Then i requested to walk down the Helix bridge towards the Marina Bay Sands






We stopped by at somewhere close to the Helix bridge where there's a sign board description of the Helix bridge. I wanted to walk down because we used to sit on the sea side near the Flyer. I wanted to see what's the changes after a year. From my view, that place really has gone through with a major revamped. But the night we used to spend together looking at the Marina Bay sea view was still deeply engraved in my mind.

We then walked towards the MBS Mall. u saw this ice-skating rink. i'm not sure but i guess u wouldn't know how much i wanted to go down to skate with u at that time. I probably wouldn't think of skating on ice for the rest of my life if it wasn't u that was standing on my side. i'm glad u didn't reject me at first when i said i wanted to skate with u.. but we still didn't get to skate at the end.

Then we went out and stood on some platform on the Helix bridge. I started taking photos again.




Haha.. this time i really thought of taking a photo of yours. Although u hid your face.. i think the shot wasn't all that bad. somehow i felt that u were cute at that time :). hahahah <3 <3 <3 ^^

Then we boarded bus.. i was really enjoying every moment i spent with u. u asked me a question like "Don't u think traveling on bus is much more interesting?" actually my heart was like "hell yes.. cause u are sitting at my side enjoying the ride with me!" but i didn't dare to show that i was happy and i think i have gave some rather disappointing reply ><. Along the journey u have been talking about the Henderson bridge. Never did i expect that the bus was really on the track to the bridge. u prompted not only once but twice about "Do u want to alight at the bridge?".. the second time was right when we were under the bridge. I hesitated and did not press the bell!!!.. *sigh*.. i don't know why i am always like that.. keep letting chances slip away just because i hesitated..

On the bus, we have some small chats. From there i realized that both of us actually really had a lot of misunderstandings. i also realized that i still have a lot more to improve on. i'm sorry for all my mistakes in the past. i'm sorry that i didn't believe in u in the past. I hope, u will believe in me and give me some time to see me grow into a true hero who can promise u with eternal happiness... I believe in you